Days I Want To Quit And Walk Away

There was a time for a good year where every week I’d question how much longer I want to write. I’d question how much longer I wanted to keep going at this from week to week. I grew tired of the marketing and promotion of my books, it was the grueling task of finding new ways to get my books in front of others. 


It was never about me or promoting myself (and it still holds true), it’s about promoting the content. It hasn’t been easy for me and even years later, I still question my talent and abilities. I still doubt myself and I never get too high with anything that I do. 


What I will say is there will surely be days when you want to quit, move on and walk away from it all. Before you do it, think about how much time and effort you’ve put into your love and passion. Think about the people who appreciate what you do and appreciate your purpose in life. 


When I think about quitting, here’s what goes on in my mind...for starters, my mind automatically shifts into I’m gonna be working a Corporate America job until I’m 70 years old. I’ll never get to live on my own terms and I’ll be restricted to the amount of vacation time I’ll have for another 30 years, and I’ll never live comfortably because my salary is set in stone with a Corporate America job. 


To know that what I’m doing is life changing for myself and the legacy I could potentially leave, that’s what keeps me going. The thought of my books living on past me is fulfilling. That a large percentage of my published books can be read decades from now and it’ll either still apply to the world in that time or it can be historical that happened and it became a societal issue we got past. 


In hindsight, nothing comes easy, none of this will ever be. You’ll lose the love to do certain things but just know, the spark will come back. The creative juices will start flowing again because the world is your oyster. The world is there to inspire and motivate you in ways you’ll never imagine or think of. Those are the things that keep me going and keep me from quitting. 


Sometimes we forget our purpose in life and want instant results. We tend to forget it takes years to build something worthwhile. When I think about that and keep that perspective in mind, I always say to myself, it’ll pay off somewhere along the lines, down the road. 


Be good everyone and go accomplish your goals!


Jamell Crouthers


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